Thursday, October 1, 2009

Dear SPSS,

We are no longer on good terms. I used to think you were the answer to all my statistical problems. Actually, I still believe you hold the key to beautiful p values. You can make my research significant!

But then you had to go and hold my Mac against me. I'm sorry. I honestly would not have purchased this computer if I'd realized you weren't fulfilled by it. I didn't know you could give me more on a PC. That "exact" button is all I'm looking for from you now. And you can't give it to me here.

I'm not sure if we can still be friends after this. It's going to take time for me to reach out and meet new people, to find someone who has your 16th (or later) version installed on their laptop who is willing to let me use it free of charge. Because we both know you don't come cheap.

This is painful for both of us. I'd like to say it's not you, but, well, it is you.

Your former friend and fan,

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