Still waiting

It's been forever since I updated, and unfortunately it's not because I've been working hard. I did finish chapters 3-5 and sent them to my adviser, so now I'm just playing the waiting game again. I'd like to go ahead and write my sixth and final chapter, but I'd really like to get her feedback on the thoughts I present in 4-5 before I expand on them. In the meantime I should finish revising the first chapter, but have to figure out what my conclusion will be before I can really write a good intro for it.

In other words, I'm blaming my lack of writing on my adviser, and content myself with calling her every other day.

On the bright side, my amazing husband has started reading through what I have and making lots of helpful comments. He's always been able to motivate me more than any professor!

Pouting

It's Saturday and I'm sitting at my computer to work. I like to take the weekends off. But since I spent too much time blogging and slacking off didn't get enough work done this week, I have to sacrifice my Saturday afternoon for a powerpoint presentation.

I am so done with grad school.

If I (a) hadn't put in so much time already, (b) wasn't sure that I was supposed to get my PhD, and (c) wasn't sure that I'd regret it if I didn't, I could easily say "forget it" and drop out. After all, if I'm being honest, I'm not gonna do a thing with this degree, at least for the next 10 years. I want babies, and I want them now.

Getting down to business

... hasn't happened yet today.

I told myself I was not going to even attempt to catch up on all the blog posts I've missed in the past week or so - I needed to start working immediately. And somehow, 3+ hours later, I still haven't started. Yikes.

What's that you say? Conference looming three days from now, and the poster should really be printed out tomorrow? I can't hear you!

Trip back to school to give a colloquium two weeks from now, and abstract for it due one week from now? La la la, still not listening!

And a personal timeline that states I will send a first draft of my final two chapters to my adviser tomorrow? When she hasn't returned what I sent her a month ago, that's not happening either.

Break writing

Let's be honest - work never happens over a break. No matter how far you lug your books, no matter how good your intentions, no matter if you even do bust it out while sitting at your parents' kitchen table, you are not going to be productive. I've found that it's liberating to just accept this and plan accordingly.

So I don't know why I went ahead and signed up for this Break Writing listserv. Probably because I'll do anything to finish this dissertation faster. Oh, yeah, and to make it better, too.

So far, their tips have actually been good. Nothing I didn't know already, but good reminders: better to write for 15 minutes a day than attempt 8 hours in one day, your first draft is going to be crappy, etc. I just wish that instead of sending me these reminders during my break, when I am in and out of town and not able to implement this, they would send it during the actual school year!

Unintentional day off

My office has been productivity central lately! It's so exciting, and I don't want to do anything to interrupt the magic in here. So when my husband the scientist asked me to finish the Christmas shopping this morning, before the crowds and snow this weekend, I was a bit nervous.

That should show you how serious I am about keeping the flow going. My husband gives me permission, actually requests for me to take a break from work and go shopping, and I hesitate?!

But it needed to get done. And now, for the most part, it is finished. Instead of just taking a few hours this morning, it has taken me until now, 5:00 in the evening. But at least I can cross that off my list.

And cross my fingers and pray that my productivity can and will resume for at least the first few days of next week!

The productivity continues!

I made my goal and got my first two chapters to my adviser by the end of last week - yay! Nothing says "Happy Friday" and "Happy end of the semester" like getting an email with a huge attachment and a desperate plea to read it and get back to me before Christmas!

Now the work continues on my results chapter(s). I'm in contact with friends of my father-in-law, who just happen to be statisticians in the pharmaceutical industry, and who are glad to help me out by looking over my results! Finally! Some much-needed reassurance. I should hear from them soon about my listener results, so I'm trying to get a lot done on my speaker results before that.

Isn't it funny how my productive streak coincides with the time of the year that I would most like to be slacking off? Oh well, gotta strike while the iron's hot!

Shocker

I've actually been working my tail off over here!

You know how I said usually when I don't post it's because I didn't do anything? Well, I have actually neglected posting the past two weeks or so because I have been so busy writing! I am thrilled with this turn of events. To give an example of how big of a change this is, it is now 4:40 in the afternoon. Usually by 4:00 I would let myself be "finished" for the day. Now I'm getting off here and jumping back into writing and not stopping until 5:30, when I have to get supper started!

Realizing that I only have 2 months has really put a bee in my bonnet!

Thwarted

I just got dressed for my run and hurried out the door - to discover rain starting. Several other little things conspired to make me sit back down at this computer. It's times like this when God makes it abundantly clear that I need to be working on my research at this moment. Okay, fine. Who am I to say no?

It's inevitable

Whenever you have a lot of time to spend on your research, something outside your control will keep you from working on it. (Usually in my case, that's waiting on other people.) You will wind up twiddling your thumbs impatiently and not be productive.

Whenever you want to spend a lot of time on something else (like your husband's upcoming birthday, or Christmas shopping), that other thing will clear up and you will have an enormous amount of work that you need to do instead. Instead of birthday shopping and planning today, I'll be poring over the pages of comments I received from two of my committee members. The good thing is, I'm so relieved to have finally gotten them that I don't really mind too much!

When I don't post

... it's probably because I haven't done anything. Just wanted to be honest with you.

There was one time that I didn't post because I was actually getting a ton done and didn't want to stop! But usually, if I don't post, it's because I haven't gotten a lot done. Not that I haven't been working (although that's often the case) - just that nothing significant happened.

I've been very prone to blaming other people lately for this. But I really can't. Sure, certain people are super hard to get a hold of and I've been in a holding pattern for a while now as I try to pester them into looking at my stuff. But I knew this was going to be the case when I picked my committee members and when I moved away to finish my degree. So I've had enough of my whole "poor poor pitiful me" bit. I made these decisions, knowing full well what I was getting into. No more complaining. (For at least a week.) No one ever said getting your PhD was going to be easy!

A nerdy and entertaining waste of time

I just got sucked into reading PhD comics for a half hour. I barely escaped!


The answer for my research? B.




I'm at the third stage.




Yes, that has indeed happened to me.

Warning! Danger!

The alarm started buzzing a few weeks ago. Last week it upgraded to a ringing level, but I was able to ignore it with family distractions. This week is has exploded into a piercing siren and I can no longer brush it off.

"YOU ARE BEHIND SCHEDULE!" the voice in my head keeps shrieking. "YOU WILL NEVER FINISH IN MAY IF YOU DON'T PULL IT TOGETHER NOW! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!"

Last night I actually worked after supper.

This doesn't seem like a big deal, I know. I am a student, after all, and doesn't that mean studying at night?

Well, no. At least it doesn't have to. Yes, it did when I was taking classes (although I think that with discipline even then it doesn't have to). But after I was finished with that and could move on to doing my research on my own schedule, I didn't anymore. I started treating my research like a 8-5 job, and it actually worked really well for me. The motivation of spending every evening and most of the weekend relaxing with my then-boyfriend now-husband helped me to really work hard during the day and get stuff done. It also helped that I had an office to go to: once I was on campus, it was basically linguistics time until the 5:00 whistle.

But I am no longer on campus, and working from home has drawbacks along with its benefits. For quite a while now I have been letting other things interfere with my work day, to the point where I now spend more time blogging, working out, cooking, reading, doing devotionals, and grocery shopping than actually dissertating. This has got to stop.

Ideally this will make me start using my time more wisely and I can go back to having a disciplined work day. But with a conference next weekend (!) that I have not yet made my poster for (!!), I'm seeing more evening work in my future. Ugh.

But once that is over, here is what I'd like my schedule to look like. I've got high hopes that it will be a really good and productive routine. The key will be keeping myself off the internet once 10:00 rolls around, even if I didn't get to read/write all the blog posts I wanted or look at so-and-so's new facebook photo album.

8:00-8:30 Prayer/devotional time
8:30-9:00 Run
9:00-10:00 Shower and Internet time
10:00-4:30 Research!
4:30 Reward with more internet if was productive
5:00 Start supper

Sliding

I didn't post yesterday. Did you notice? It's because it was MY BIRTHDAY!

At first I told myself that the best gift to give myself would be a good morning of solid work - then I would feel great the rest of the day! Then I decided that I should really spend some time indulging in the blogosphere and facebook. And then I'm not sure what happened after that, but it was lunch time. And then I did work for an hour or two, and then got a call from my friend Jenny and we always talk for a while. And then I had to hurry just to get in a run and shower before it was time to go out for dinner! So yeah, not much got done in there.

Oh, and remember how I said I didn't mind family responsibilities interfering with my work? I still don't really feel guilty about that. But it turns out I only like to be helpful when it is on my schedule. I need to work on that.

I don't think I mentioned that I did hear back from one of my committee members! He suggested a logistic regression, so I ran that. I see some very nice p values, but I don't know which (if any) of them are applicable. Today I also ran some loglinear models. I think they said I have significant three way interactions. I'm not really sure what that means, either. I think I'm trying to complicate things too much.

I really need to create my NWAV poster. But that's based on my listener results. And those are the very statistics I'm struggling with. But I will prevail!

Oh dear

Now I have to confess that I didn't really do anything today. Darn. Apparently the threat of having to admit this to you all wasn't enough to make me do my research.

Honestly, when it's because of other family responsibilities, I don't feel guilty in the least. Of course that's more important! When it's because of other time-suckers like the internet, that's when I feel guilty. Today was a combination, but I'm going to say that it was mostly family, so I don't feel too bad. I mean, I didn't even have time to post on my other blog.

And actually, I did maybe an hour or so of work. And it's only 4:00 now. If I can get in another 45 minutes, I'm going to feel good calling it a day. I can't believe it's already the weekend again!